During our journey through life we often experience difficulties, traumas, breakups and all manner of things that we feel hurt us. When we begin defining ourselves by these “wounds” it begins to impact the way we see the world and how we fit into it. These wounds show themselves in our lives as feelings of fear, betrayal, pain, anger and resentment and you know if your stuck in the wound because you continually bring it up in conversation, continually thinking about what you could or should have done and can’t seem to let go of it.
Often getting stuck in our wounds leads to a negative spiral and can put us at risk for illness. Even more damaging is using the wound to manipulate others around you to feel sorry for you or when you use it as an excuse for your behaviour, attitude and unkind words. So how might you be interacting with your wounds? Have you taken a healing approach to them or have they become an integral part of your story that has you stuck?
We are not meant to stay wounded but instead to move through the tragedies, challenges and painful episodes of life with a perspective of growth. Wounds and difficulties provide us with the ability to transform our thinking and behaviour as we reflect on what we have learned. Taking responsibility for your healing journey also means that you are increasing and building up your positive energy bank.
How to step out of a ‘woundology’ mindset
- The first step is to identify the wounds with someone that is neutral.
- The second step is to learn how to move through the pain attached to the wound in a constructive and healthy way so that you can learn to not fear the pain or remain stuck in it.
- The third step is to learn to let go of the pain and incident and re-author a new preferred story that allows you to learn and move on with your life in a positive way.
- The fourth step is to catch yourself each time you want to dwell in sad or anger filled memories – this can become a bad habit and just creates a welfare state in your soul. Instead use a grounding technique and an positive affirmation linked to your new preferred story to bring you back into the present – this is how we take control of your mind and future and begin living the life we actually want.
The last and biggest step of moving on from your wounds is the ability to embody forgiveness. This is not saying that what happened didn’t matter or approving of another person’s actions. The goal of forgiveness if for you to be able to release the negative emotions and feelings about the event or persons involved from your being, so that it is not causing long term damage to your mental, physical and emotional health.