The following are nine ways to hold space for yourself:
Embracing Your Imperfection
Your “imperfections” are what make you unique and can often be the doorway to your greatest gifts. If you try to be like everyone else, you rob the world of your special talents and the rare contribution that only you can make. The more you can accept and learn to love your individuality, the more you will express it and the happier you will be. Some of the world’s most uncompromisingly brazen individuals have made enormous impacts. Self-acceptance is key to holding space for yourself. The more you accept and love yourself, the more you will look after yourself and value your own needs.
Saying ‘No’
When you say ‘no’ to others, you very often say ‘yes’ to yourself. If you’re doing something for others at the expense of yourself, it is not beneficial for anyone. Honouring yourself always works out well. It’s unkind to put yourself last and agreeing to do things through obligation always breeds resentment. This is not to say you shouldn’t do things for others (of course you should!), but there’s a way to do it that also supports your own wellbeing. When you say ‘no’ to others, you strengthen your self-esteem, you show yourself that you are important and valuable. And you give others permission to do the same.
Developing Boundaries
When you have good boundaries, are assertive and can say ‘no’ without feeling guilty, then mandatory relationships end and you can enter the realm of the defenceless heart – a place where you are able to love freely and generously. Much of loving is defended loving. When you know you have the strength to stand up for yourself and stand in your own corner, you can actually love more freely. Boundaries don’t need to shut out, they can strengthen bonds. Making time to truly connect with yourself supports your overall health and wellbeing.
Connecting with Yourself
Making time to truly connect with yourself supports your overall health and wellbeing. Each morning and evening I place my hands over my heart, and drop into my inner world to visit my deepest self. I tune in to my heart and feel where I’m at, observing how my body is feeling, and noticing my emotions and thoughts. I recall all those pieces of myself, the energy that has been scattered between situations, people and places, and put myself back together like a puzzle.
Listening
In stillness, we get to know who we are. Taking time to be still, alone, to simply be, supports you in getting to know yourself and your dreams, and gives you space to correct your course if you have lost your way. It helps you to shine a light on negative cycles and habitual patterns. Simply noticing what you ‘do’ is the first step to healing. Observing with kindness, acceptance and humour is key to interrupting the cycle, as criticism keeps us locked into these negative patterns.
Reaching for Support
In order to hold space for yourself, you must be able to reach out for support when you need it. This strengthens your ability to be there for yourself. Knowing your own limits and knowing you can get support if you need it, makes your power to be there for yourself grounded and deeper.
Being Authentic
You know the truth. You know who you are. Don’t hide it from yourself. Have the courage to see all of you, your gifts and your less than perfect bits. When you see yourself with kindness and compassion, you have the power to change aspects of yourself or your life that you dislike.
Being a Good Parent to Yourself
A creative parent holds space for a child to explore, be creative, test boundaries, let their imagination run wild, experience different personalities, ideas and roles. A great parent doesn’t control or shut down. This is the same when dealing with your inner child. Allow yourself to explore and experience life, empower yourself to make the right choices and live life in your own way. Be an innovative parent to your inner child: loving yourself when you’re sick, being encouraging when you fall over, and always cheering yourself on.
Developing Supportive Rituals
Take a stand for yourself. Do at least one nurturing thing for yourself every day and make a promise to yourself that you will check in with you every day. Just as you would invest time in a friendship, making time to call your friend and find out how she’s doing, or give extra love and support during a rough time, you can do the same with yourself.