Self-compassion is how kind you are to yourself. When you’re compassionate with others, you are probably caring, free of judgment, kind and gentle. Instead of (or in addition to) turning that toward others, self-compassion is about giving yourself that same gift.
Treat yourself like you’re your best friend (or your younger self)
You might have a hard time being nice to yourself but what about your best friend? Think about your inner critic, and the messages you tell yourself all the time. Would you talk to your best friend that way? Of course not! So don’t talk to yourself that way, either. If you don’t want to picture talking to your best friend, another option is to picture your younger self (any age you want, but 5-10 is a good range to start with). Would you be mean to little you or would you find a way to express yourself more kindly?
Remember that everyone’s thinking about you a lot less than you assume
This isn’t meant to make you feel bad, but you probably think about yourself more than anyone else does. After all, you’re stuck with yourself for your whole life! If you’re critical to yourself because of how you think others see you, remind yourself that everyone is probably thinking about you a lot less than you assume. Instead of making you feel unimportant, this can make you feel more confident in yourself moving in the world.
Don’t believe everything you think
Don’t believe everything you think Just because you have thoughts doesn’t mean they’re true. When you notice a mean thought about yourself come through your mind, you can take a moment, notice it, and say to yourself “I’m so glad that’s not true!” or “What a mean thought! I know that’s not the truth, though,” and move on with your day instead of getting caught up in a negative thought spiral.
Feel your feelings
You don’t have to pretend to stay strong all of the time – being compassionate toward yourself means that you won’t judge whatever reaction you have. if you need to cry, scream, sleep, laugh or do something else, that’s perfectly fine. Instead of avoiding your feelings or pretending they’re not there, lean into your feelings and be compassionate toward yourself for having them.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to retrain your brain. With regular mindfulness practice, you can learn to judge yourself less. Instead of focusing on worries for the future, or regrets from the past, focus on only the present moment. Tune in with how you feel mentally, physically and spiritually. Learn how your brain works when you are intentional with your thoughts.
