Life can get very busy and before you know it you’re in the daily rut of getting up, going to work, coming home, watching TV and collapsing into bed, only to do it all again the next day. Sure enough, days, weeks and months fly by and suddenly you wonder when was the last time you were intimate with your partner or just spent some quality time together. For those people that have trouble initiating intimacy with their partner, the days and weeks that go by sometimes feel like a very big bridge to begin trying to cross.

Making time for you and your partner to connect is key to a healthy relationship. This must be a deliberate decision and if you only get 15 min a day between making lunches for the kids, running out the door for work or managing a busy evening routine, it is really important that you grab what time you can.

Make time tips…
· Find a space where you will not be interrupted and able to have at least 10-15min each of communication time.
· Focus the communication on the relationship or how each of you are going, not all the other environmental stuff that is happening.
· If late at night don’t get into heavy topics, perhaps just cuddle and reconnect using touch.
· Try and have a regular time each day and let those around you know that you don’t want to be disturbed.
· Pick a place around the home that feels relaxing and calm.
· Plan a weekly date night, even if it’s a picnic in the back yard when the kids are in bed.
· Talk about the things you enjoy doing together and actively plan them into the schedule.
· Do monthly check-ins with how each of you feel the relationship is going and what each other might be needing.
· Get the TV out of the bedroom and put your phone on the other side of the room.
· If you live in a house with parents or flatmates book a hotel for one night a month so that you can have some time together without worrying about everyone else in the house.

For more tips on improving couples communication have a look at the couples communication workbook on the EAP Assist resource page at: