Anger is a human emotion that everyone experiences. It can range from mild (feeling annoyed) to extreme (intense rage). It can be our way of expressing or responding to a range of other feelings such as embarrassment, frustration, jealousy, guilt or feeling under pressure. When you start to feel angry, your body often experiences changes — your heart rate and blood pressure increase as your body produces the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline.
If unmanaged, anger can place your body under significant stress. Some of the short and long-term health problems linked to unmanaged anger include: headache, digestion problems, Insomnia, increased anxiety & Depression. Sometimes, anger can lead to people acting aggressively or becoming violent. While many people believe anger and aggression are the same thing, they aren’t. Anger is a feeling, while aggression and violence are actions. Sometimes, anger can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to prevent it spilling over into violence. The good news is, there are ways to get your anger under control. The first step though, is to work out whether you have an issue with anger or not. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I sometimes have trouble controlling my temper?
Am I finding it difficult to stay calm in challenging or frustrating situations?
Am I having anger outbursts?
Am I lashing out at others in response to minor irritations?
Am I frequently getting into arguments?
Have I ever become angry and regretted it later?
Has my anger caused problems in my relationships or at work?
Have I threatened violence against a person or property?
Have I ever lost control of my anger to the point where I became violent or abusive?
Has anyone ever commented on my anger?
Am I having difficulty calming down after becoming angry?
If you answer ‘yes’ to any of the questions, you may need to find ways to manage your anger.
Techniques to control anger
There are several techniques to prevent your anger from boiling over into abuse or violence:
Identify the things that make you angry
If you know the things that frustrate you and make you angry, you may be able to avoid them or do things differently when you’re faced with them. When you start to feel angry, ask yourself what is causing it. If it’s a valid reason, then you can acknowledge that. But also ask yourself if your reading of the situation is correct — maybe there’s another perspective
Spot the physical warning signs of anger
If you can identify the physical warning signs of anger, you will have more opportunity to calm yourself before the situation escalates
Time out
Step away from a situation and giving yourself space. It may help to say “I need to take a break — I’ll come back in half an hour.” This gives you a chance to cool down
Controlled breathing
Try taking five long, deep breaths and slowing your breathing. While you’re breathing, try to relax the muscles in your arms and face.
Talk yourself down
Telling yourself you can handle the situation can help calm you down. You might try saying things like “Okay, I can handle this” or “I’m not going to let this get to me.” Or you might try words like “relax” or “take it easy” while you breathe deeply. Try to avoid negative statements that might make you feel angrier and which talk up the situation, such as “she’s always doing that” or “how dare he!”
Distraction
Shifting the focus from the situation to something else, even briefly, can be enough to defuse a situation. If you can listen to music, count to 10 or call a friend, it may be enough to distract you from what is making you angry.
Use imagery
Picturing yourself in a relaxing situation may help. Use what you feel is relaxing. It may be swimming or lying on a beach, sitting on a mountain top, or reading to your children.
Gentle exercise
Exercise such as yoga or other forms of stretching can relax your muscles and make you feel calmer. Taking your dog out for a walk can be a circuit breaker and change your perspective.