The seven stages of grief is a model for explaining the many complicated experiences of loss. These seven stages include:
• Shock and denial: This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
• Pain and guilt: You may feel that the loss is unbearable and that you’re making other people’s lives harder because of your feelings and needs.
• Anger and bargaining: You may lash out, telling God or a higher power that you’ll do anything they ask if they’ll only grant you relief from these feelings or this situation.
• Depression: This may be a period of isolation and loneliness during which you process and reflect on the loss.
• The upward turn: At this point, the stages of grief, like anger and pain, have died down, and you’re left in a more calm and relaxed state.
• Reconstruction and working through: You can begin to put pieces of your life back together and move forward.
• Acceptance and hope: This is a very gradual acceptance of the new way of life and a feeling of possibility for the future.
FAQS
How long does each stage of grief last?
Grief is different for every person. There’s no exact time frame for each stage. You may remain in one of the stages of grief for months but skip other stages entirely. This is natural. It takes time to go through the grieving process.
Is it possible to repeat the stages of grief?
Not everyone experiences the stages of grief in a linear way. You may have ups and downs, go from one stage to another, and then circle back. Additionally, not everyone will experience all stages of grief, and you may not go through them in order. For example, you may begin coping with loss in the bargaining stage and find yourself in anger or denial next.
I didn’t go through the stages of grief — how will this affect me?
Avoiding, ignoring or denying yourself the ability to express your grief may seem to help you dissociate from the pain of the loss you’re going through. But continuing to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions can be unhelpful. Over time, unresolved grief can turn into physical or emotional manifestations that affect your health.
Why is it important to understand the stages of grief?
Grief is a natural emotion to experience when going through a loss. While everyone experiences grief differently, identifying the various stages of grief can help you anticipate and understand some of the reactions you may experience throughout the grieving process. It can also help you be aware of your needs when grieving and find ways to meet them. Understanding the grieving process can ultimately help you work toward acceptance and healing.
How do you know what stage of grief you are in?
The stages are not a prescribed pattern; they are more like a description to help you understand what you are feeling and why you might be feeling it. They can also help you accept that your feelings are not unusual or wrong. You may recognize feelings that a stage describes, and this will help you know which stage you are in. However, there is no fixed way of recognizing a stage. Stages can also come and go, and an earlier stage can return later.