There is a common and popular belief that self-compassion is selfish, self-indulgent, or worse, weak. However, evidence demonstrates that these misperceptions are misplaced. Here’s why you should be a little kinder to yourself with some helpful tips for getting started.
Self-compassion is a strength, not a weakness
There is a strong link between self-compassion and well-being; and people with a greater sense of self-compassion have fewer psychopathological problems such as depression, stress, anxiety and thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Self-compassion has also been proven by research to strengthen resilience in many different situations such as domestic violence, divorce, natural disasters, sexual assault, prejudice or even when raising a child with special needs. Thinking about mistakes, problems and misdemeanours with non-judgemental warmth, remembering that suffering is part of life and the human condition, makes it less overwhelming and isolating, so we are better able to manage the situation. Overall, self-compassion promotes a positive mindset and lessens a negative mindset.
Self-compassion leads to better health
The evidence shows that self-compassion leads to health-promoting behaviours such as a healthier diet and increased physical activity. It can also enhance your immune system, which means you’re less prone to getting sick. Also, it has been shown to help to reduce cortisol levels in times of stress and can lead to better sleep quality.
Self-compassion enables you to care for others
When you are caring and kind to yourself, it helps you to be caring and kind to others. It enhances connection with other people. It enables you to be more forgiving and find commonalities with other people. It also helps in relationships, making it easier to be more accepting of our partners’ flaws, which leads to more satisfying connections. Self-compassionate people are more authentic and more likely to compromise when resolving a conflict. Greater self-compassion enables those in the care industries to experience positivity in the workplace, and reduces caregiver fatigue, burnout and stress.
Self-compassion is motivating
Self-compassion helps you to operate from a place of wellbeing instead of inadequacy. People who care about themselves are less critical and judgement of themselves and they operate with encouragement, warmth and constructive feedback, which helps when working towards personal goals. Self-compassion counteracts perfectionism and is associated with personal initiative and high performance standards. It is associated with a growth mindset and can help with procrastination.
What you do to cultivate self-compassion
- Treat yourself with patience and kindness and pamper yourself when you are going through a tough time
- Try to be more tolerant and accepting of your perceived flaws, they are a natural part of being human
- Observe your feelings and rather than judge them, become curious about what they are trying to tell you
- Be more accepting of life’s difficulties, as everyone experiences these from time to time
- Practice mindfulness
- Care for yourself as you would care for your best friend
- Embrace your mistakes – they are valuable learning experiences
- Try not to compare yourself to others, especially on social media. Embrace the idea that you are a unique person having a unique experience.
- Surround yourself with people who support you and embrace their positive feedback