Giving away your personal power robs you of mental strength. But maintaining control in your life requires that you make a conscious choice to take back your power. Before you can create positive change, you need to recognize the ways in which you give your power away. Here are 15 ways to keep your personal power:
1. Don’t waste energy complaining.
There’s a big difference between complaining and problem-solving. Venting to your friends, family and co-workers keeps you focused on the problem and prevents you from creating a solution. Grumbling implies that you have no power over your situation and also shows that you lack power over your attitude.
2. Accept responsibility for how you feel.
Don’t let other people’s behaviour dictate your emotions. Claiming that your boss makes you mad, suggests that they have power over how you feel. Instead, accept that it is up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how others behave.
3. Establish healthy boundaries.
Giving in to guilt trips, or refusing to speak up for yourself, gives power to other people. Rather than blame them for wasting your time or “forcing” you to do something, recognize that you’re in charge of yourself. Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and with whom you spend it.
4. Practice forgiveness.
Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn’t punish the other person—it only punishes you. When you waste valuable time thinking about a person you feel wronged you, it takes away your ability to enjoy the moment. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what the person did was OK. It’s about choosing to let go of the hurt and anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life.
5. Know your values.
When you’re not clear what your values are, you’re at risk of becoming a helpless passenger rather than a confident driver of own life. You’ll be at risk of jumping on board with other people’s ideas and may be easily led astray. Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what’s important to you.
6. Don’t waste time on unproductive thoughts.
Have you ever come home from work and spent the entire evening wishing you didn’t have to go back again tomorrow? Suddenly, you’re giving your eight-hour workday 12 hours of your time. Take control over the thoughts that occupy your mind so you don’t give more brainpower to areas of your life that don’t require it.
7. Avoid language that implies you’re a victim.
Saying things like, “I have to work 60 hours a week,” or, “I had no choice but to say yes,” infers that you’re a victim of unfortunate circumstances. While there will certainly be consequences for the decisions you make, acknowledge that you always have choices.
8. Make your self-worth independent of other people’s opinions.
If your self-worth depends on others holding you in high regard, you’ll likely become a people-pleaser. Not everyone needs to like you, nor do they have to agree with your lifestyle. Evaluate the merit of criticism you receive but never allow any one person’s opinion determine your self-worth.
9. Be willing to stand out from the crowd.
Self-doubt and fear can lead you to want to blend in with those around you. But trying to fit in with the crowd will cause you to disguise who you really are. Trust that you’re mentally strong enough to stand out and dare to be different.
10. Make the Decision to follow through
Before you can do anything in life, you need to mentally prepare yourself to tackle whatever hurdle that is standing between you and your goal. The journey of stepping into your personal power is not an easy one; you will fall, you will feel like giving up, and there will be days that you just want to go back into your comfort zone where you do not have to take responsibility.
11. Have a Plan
After making that decision to step into your personal power, put together a plan. Determine what exactly you need to change to be in control of your life. Set realistic goals. Sometimes the reason we easily give up is that we try to go from 0 to 100. Change doesn’t work like that. You need to be gradual. Be kind to yourself by doing what you can when you can.
12. Learn and Research
Your goals may include improving your emotional intelligence, losing weight or learning a new skill that will improve the quality of your life. You need to research and learn additional information that you can apply during acquiring that new skill.
13. Change Your Routine and Habits
There are things that you will need to let go of that take away from your personal power. As mentioned before, start small. Don’t make drastic changes because your brain isn’t wired to make big changes. If your goal is waking up earlier than you usually do, try waking up 15 to 30 minutes earlier than your usual time until eventually, you reach your intended goal. Plant bits and pieces of actions within your daily routine that will help you achieve your goal.
14. Understand Yourself
Getting to know yourself is one of the most powerful things that you can do to help yourself step into your personal power. When you know yourself, you can control yourself, and when you can control yourself, you can control your life.
15. Stay in the Present
The reason we often go through life as victims is because we often focus on things we cannot control. We are stuck in the past we cannot change or we obsess over the future we know nothing about. Stepping into your power is mostly staying in the present. Ask yourself: What can I do now? Because you can only control now.