Self-esteem is deeply influenced by how we think about ourselves. Negative self-talk and distorted thought patterns can perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. However, by actively shifting the way you think, you can build a healthier self-image and enhance your overall sense of self-worth. The big difference between a person with confidence and someone who struggles in that area is that the confident person hears the negative voice and understands that it’s fiction. Here are five practical ways to improve your self-esteem by changing your thinking:
1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Our inner dialogue often contains critical or harsh judgments, which can erode our self-esteem over time. The first step in improving your self-worth is to identify and challenge these negative thoughts. Instead of accepting them as facts, question their validity and replace them with more balanced and compassionate perspectives.
Why it works: Negative self-talk distorts reality and reinforces feelings of unworthiness. By questioning these thoughts, you break the cycle of self-criticism and begin to reframe how you see yourself.
How to implement:
- When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” challenge it with, “What evidence do I have that supports this? What evidence contradicts it?”
- Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, such as “I am capable of growth and learning” or “I deserve respect and kindness.”
- Practice self-compassion by treating yourself as you would a close friend in a similar situation.
- Practice Cognitive Reframing
Cognitive reframing is the process of changing the way you interpret events or situations. Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, try to see them as opportunities for growth. By reframing your thinking, you can shift from a defeatist mindset to one that promotes resilience and self-empowerment.Why it works: How you interpret experiences directly impacts your feelings about yourself. Reframing negative situations helps you maintain a more optimistic and constructive view of your abilities.
How to implement:
- When you face a challenge or mistake, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience?”
- If you didn’t get a job or promotion you wanted, reframe it as, “This is an opportunity to improve my skills and explore new possibilities.”
- Focus on progress rather than perfection and acknowledge small wins along the way.
- Focus on Strengths, Not Weaknesses
Too often, we fixate on our perceived weaknesses and shortcomings. To improve self-esteem, it’s crucial to shift your focus to your strengths, talents, and achievements. Regularly acknowledging and celebrating your positive qualities helps build a more positive self-image.Why it works: Focusing on strengths reinforces the idea that you are capable, valuable, and competent, which naturally boosts your self-esteem.
How to implement:
- Make a list of your strengths—skills, traits, and accomplishments—and refer to it often to remind yourself of your value.
- Set aside time each day to acknowledge what you did well, even if it’s something small, like completing a task or being kind to yourself.
- Keep a “success journal” where you write down positive feedback from others and personal achievements.
- Embrace Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning, rather than being fixed traits. Adopting a growth mindset encourages you to view challenges as opportunities for improvement, rather than threats to your self-worth.Why it works: When you embrace the idea that you can grow and improve, you stop measuring your value by your current abilities. Instead, you view setbacks as temporary and part of the learning process, which helps you develop resilience and confidence.
How to implement:
- When faced with difficulty, remind yourself, “I may not know how to do this yet, but I can learn and improve.”
- Replace thoughts like, “I can’t do this” with “I’m in the process of learning how to do this.”
- Celebrate effort and persistence, not just results, as these are signs of growth.
- Practice Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is the ability to embrace your imperfections, flaws, and mistakes as part of who you are. Rather than striving for perfection, practice accepting yourself as a whole, complete person, with both strengths and areas for improvement. This shift in thinking reduces the pressure to be flawless and helps foster a deeper sense of self-worth.Why it works: Self-acceptance creates an internal foundation of unconditional self-worth, which is not dependent on external validation or success. This allows you to feel secure in who you are, regardless of external factors.
How to implement:
- Acknowledge that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes, and that this is a normal part of being human.
- Challenge perfectionistic thoughts like, “I have to be perfect to be accepted,” with more realistic views, such as “I am worthy of love and respect as I am.”
- Engage in self-care practices that nurture your emotional, mental, and physical well-being as a way of honouring and valuing yourself.