Whether perfectionism stems from a fear of judgment or from judgments you have of yourself, anxiety likes to convince you that if you can’t do everything and do it perfectly, you should probably do nothing at all. But inevitably, there comes a point when that avoidance has gone on for far too long — and just when it’s time to pull it together, you freeze. And along comes anxiety’s best friend: shame. Shame wants to constantly remind you that the task didn’t get done, only reinforcing your perfectionism… and perpetuating the cycle. There are very practical ways to overcome anxiety so you can manage — and conquer — this cycle. To break the cycle, follow these 7 steps:
1. Lower the bar
Before diving into your work, make a conscious decision to lower the bar. Free yourself from the expectation that you have to give 100% of yourself to everything you do. The first step to breaking the cycle is to recognize that often, accomplishing tasks is a slow process — and an imperfect one — and that’s totally okay. In other words, it’s okay to be human. It won’t happen all at once. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to make mistakes (you can always go back and fix them later!). It’s easy to forget this, though, when we have so many expectations for ourselves.
2. Bite sized tasks
Tackling perfectionism requires disrupting all-or-nothing thinking. For example, if you’re trying to get your inbox organized, it’s not going to help if you consider that as one single task. Figure out what the components of the task are and take them in bite sizes. Breaking down tasks into smaller pieces makes them more manageable and leads to more frequent feelings of accomplishment as you cross each one off your list.
3. Track your time
When a task looms over us, we often overestimate the time it takes to complete it. When you think an anxiety-inducing task will take the entire day, you also tend not to schedule any time for self-care. Holding oneself accountable to follow through on work and fun activities takes practice, patience, and self-compassion.
4. Positive support
Tackling anything alone is more overwhelming than doing so with a support system. Write down what you need support with right now, and next to that, write at least one person who can help you with that task.
5. Saying no
It’s impossible for you to commit to absolutely everything, but we often feel the need to please everyone. Taking on too many responsibilities is a surefire way to become overwhelmed and fall into a similar self-destructive cycle. Think about where you can streamline your schedule, delegate to others, or even say no to events and tasks that are not immediate or urgent.
- Reward yourself
You’re never too old to reward yourself. Setting up small rewards can often be one of the most effective ways to motivate yourself to complete organizational tasks. Reward yourself for a job well done. Positive reinforcement ensures the next project can go as smoothly and informs you that you are bigger than the anxiety.
7. Mindfulness
Staying in tune with your body and mindset as you practice breaking patterns can be extremely beneficial. Self-check-ins are critical, especially if you’re prone to honing in on the smallest details. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to take a step back and give yourself breaks and reminders.