- IDENTIFY areas where you are exhausted, resentful or angry. Check in with your core values.
- DEFINE BOUNDARY: what do you not want to hear, see, or do?
- TRUST YOUR INTUITION: Moments of “I feel it in my gut”. “Something doesn’t feel quite right”. Intuition tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
- SAY NO: don’t apologize or give long explanations; you will dilute the power of NO. Don’t lie. Lying will most likely lead to guilt and/or anxiety.
- BE ASSERTIVE, calm & polite. Pay attention to people’s reactions. If someone gets upset about you setting a boundary. It’s more evidence that a boundary was needed.
- DEFINE CONSEQUENCES and address boundary violations early.
- LET GO OF GUILT. Your ‘no’ may empower the other person to take responsibility or to make better choices instead of enabling them to keep doing what they’re doing.
- USE SUPPORT. If someone is being abusive or crossing boundaries, talk to a friend or EAP Assist.
