Motivational Interviewing is about noticing what isn’t working for you now, considering the pros and cons of change, and guiding yourself through resistance in a way that feels hopeful, honest and doable. Here’s how to apply a few key ideas from motivational interviewing:
- Show empathy to yourself
Acknowledge how you’re feeling about making a change and normalise the different emotions you might be experiencing. Instead of judging yourself, admit that you’re doing your best. - See the change clearly
Think about where you are now versus where you’d like to be. What are you giving up and what are you gaining? - Roll with resistance
When part of you pushes back (“But I just want to feel better right now”) don’t ignore it. Instead, explore what’s behind the resistance. Accepting that resistance exists helps you work through it, rather than getting stuck. Be gentle and kind with yourself and remember that change is hard, takes time and no one does it straight away or ‘perfectly’ – small steps add up over time. - Have faith in yourself
Revisit past wins – even tiny ones. Think about things you’ve managed to change before (like starting a morning walk or less people-pleasing actions). Reminding yourself your strength builds confidence: you’ve done this kind of work before. - Ask open-ended questions
Try“What do I really want out of this change?”or “How might a feel a little better if I take one step towards this change today?” Let yourself talk through it. You don’t need big epiphanies – just honest reflection. - Reflect — but don’t overthink
Regular check-ins help. You could journal, meditate or just think quietly for a few minutes. - Use “but” to reframe
When your inner critic shows up, use “but” to soften it. This simple word helps you stay realistic – not beating yourself up for slip-ups but still moving forward.
