If you a prone to acting impulsively, or you tend to speak before you’ve had a chance to think things through, the STOP skill is an invaluable tool to help you to respond, rather than to react to a difficult situation. Learning this skill can help you to resist acting on your first instincts and it can give you a chance to pause and regain your composure so you can present your thoughts in a calm and sensible manner. It is an invaluable tool which can be applied at work where there is potential conflict. With practice it can help you behave in a way that aligns with your values and be a better version of yourself. It’s very easy to remember using the STOP mnemonic below:
S – STOP
The first step is to freeze! Do not do or say anything. Take a beat and pause.
T – Take a Breath
Breath deeply into the bottom of your lungs and exhale slowly, and repeat a few times. Your breath will help to engage your parasympathetic nervous system and you will be able to thing more clearly.
O – Observe
Take a moment to notice what is happening. What are you thinking and what are your feelings telling you? Observe what others are saying and doing.
P – Proceed with Care
Be mindful with how you act now. Consider your thoughts and feelings and those of the other people in the situation. Think about the outcomes and the actions which will make the situation better or worse.