In the workplace, grief and identity shifts don’t stay at the door. They can show up as:
- Reduced concentration or motivation
- Loss of confidence in professional identity
- Feeling disconnected from colleagues
- Difficulty returning to “normal functioning”
- Increased anxiety or emotional overwhelm
It’s important to recognise that this is not a lack of capability, it is a natural response to grief and identity disruption. When emotions are pushed down or ignored, they don’t disappear they can build up and show up as:
- Physical tension or fatigue
- Irritability or emotional overwhelm
- Mental exhaustion or burnout
The goal isn’t to “get rid of it”…it’s to move it through in a way that keeps you in control.
Supporting Yourself at Work: Practical Strategies
Be Honest. You don’t have to share everything but saying something can reduce pressure.
- I’m going through a bit personally at the moment, so I may be quieter than usual.
- I’m managing a lot outside of work right now I’ll let you know if I need support.
This helps:
- Reduce the need to mask
- Prevent misunderstandings
- Create space for support
Use Check-Ins with Safe People
You don’t need a big conversation every time.
- A quick chat with a trusted colleague
- A message to someone who feels safe
- Naming how you feel: Today feels heavy
This helps to:
- Releases emotional pressure
- Reduces isolation
- Stops things from building up
Don’t Bottle It — Move It
Unprocessed emotion doesn’t disappear it gets stored. Find small ways during the day to release it:
- Take a short walk
- Stretch or reset your posture
- Step outside for fresh air
- Take slow, steady breaths
Think of this as releasing pressure, not avoiding work
Contain, Don’t Suppress
If you can’t process everything at work, that’s okay. Try:
- I’ll come back to this later
- Writing a quick note to yourself
- Setting a time after work to reflect
This allows:
- Control over your emotional space
- A pause without pushing it down
Adjust Expectations of Yourself
Grief impacts focus, energy, and capacity. Try:
- Breaking tasks into smaller steps
- Prioritising what matters most
- Letting “good enough” be enough
You are not underperforming, you are functioning under load
Create Small Anchors in Your Day
When identity feels unstable, routine helps.
- A morning coffee ritual
- A walk at lunch
- A consistent start or finish to your day
These provides:
- Stability
- Predictability
- A sense of control
Give your Body an Outlet after Work
If emotions are held in all day, they need somewhere to go. After work:
- Move your body
- Talk to someone
- Journal or decompress
- Listen to music or sit quietly
This helps prevent:
- Emotional build-up becoming physical stress
- Carryover into the next day
A Reframe
Instead of asking: Why am I not back to myself yet? Try: Of course I feel different I’ve been through something life-changing.
Final Reflection
Grief doesn’t just change your life, it changes you. And while that can feel unsettling it can also be the beginning of something new. You are not lost. You are in transition.
For Managers: Supporting Staff Experiencing Grief & Identity Shifts
Managers play a critical role in how safe someone feels to navigate grief at work. Support does not require having the “right words” it requires awareness, flexibility and humanity.
What to Look For
Grief may not always be obvious. Signs can include:
- Withdrawal or quietness
- Reduced concentration
- Changes in performance
- Increased emotional sensitivity
- Fatigue or low energy
How to Support Effectively
Create Psychological Safety
- Normalise that it’s okay not to be okay
- Avoid forcing disclosure — allow choice
Acknowledge Without Pressure
Simple statements matter:
- I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
- Let me know how I can support you.
Offer Flexibility Where Possible
- Adjust workload or deadlines
- Allow for breaks or time out when needed
Avoid Assumptions About “Recovery”
Grief is not linear.
- There is no set timeline
- Someone may appear “fine” and still be struggling
Focus on Support, Not Performance First
Support builds capacity. When people feel supported:
- Engagement improves
- Trust strengthens
- Recovery is more sustainable
A Final Note for Managers
You don’t need to fix grief. But you can:
- Make it safer to speak
- Reduce pressure to hide it
- Encourage healthy support pathways
And that can make a meaningful difference.
