Anyone can learn to be confident. True confidence comes from training and competence. It is not something that some are born with or without. If you have been living a life struggling with how to build confidence this information is what you need to hear. These eight things will help you build confidence that lasts:

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Each person is different. We were all born with things that we are naturally better at than others, and some things that we will never be great at no matter how hard we try. That’s ok. If you want to build the real confidence you need to stop trying to be like everyone else and learn to be the best you that you can be. The only comparison a truly confident person makes is to the person he/she was yesterday – and to the person, he/she hopes to become someday. If you’re wondering how to build confidence, stop comparing yourself with others and start working on improving yourself.

2. Track Your Successes

When you see the areas that you are competent in and succeeding, you naturally begin to feel more confident. Write down at least three successes that they have at the end of each day. Not feeling very successful? If you struggle with low confidence, it might be hard for you to identify three successes every day, but you need to do it anyway. These can be simple successes like writing, I paid my mortgage today. That might not be something you previously viewed as a success, but there are a lot of people that are unable to pay their mortgage, or they just don’t care if they do it or not. Start to look at your daily life and acknowledge the areas, big or small, that you are already succeeding.

3. Visualize Yourself Succeeding and Being Confident

Visualizations are a powerful tool that you can use to help build confidence. Spend time each day visualizing yourself stepping out, taking risks, and succeeding at them. This is essentially practicing being confident. Rehearse in your head the way that you will confidently respond to opportunities that you are presented with. The more you ”practice”, the more likely you will be to act confidently when new situations arise.

4. Change your Opinion of Failure

Many people who fear failure also struggle with handling failure. It’s hard to remain confident if you fall apart every time you fail at something. If you think that you are a ”failure” because you didn’t achieve exactly what you wanted at something, it will be impossible for you ever truly to feel confident. You have to change the way you think about failure. Failure is something that you can learn from. If you look at the history of successful people in both the past and the present, their lives are scattered with failure. Even the most successful people fail–often at many different things.

5. Quit the Negative Self–Talk

Many people say more negative things about themselves than anyone else will ever say about them. For example, calling yourself ”a failure” is different than recognizing that you didn’t meet your goal. You will not succeed at building self–confidence if you are constantly knocking yourself down. Start speaking affirmations to yourself. It will feel awkward at first but stick with it. Take your list of successes each day and speak them out loud to yourself. Make a list of things that you are good at, stand in front of a mirror, and say them out loud while you look at yourself. Start building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.

6. Practice Self–Care

One of the first steps you can take in building your confidence is to take care of yourself. When you are tired, not providing yourself with proper nourishment, and not getting enough exercise it can be difficult to feel confident and good about yourself. Start by making sure that you get enough sleep every night. Instead of trying to push your work into the early morning hours, go to bed and rest. Make sure you get at least seven hours of sleep a night. You will be more rested which helps you have a better outlook on life.

If you aren’t exercising, it’s time to get started. Physical activity helps you boost your confidence by boosting your mood and helping you feel better physically. The stronger you get, the more you feel you can accomplish. Don’t forget to get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. A simple walk outside can boost your mood instantly. Make sure you are making wise eating decisions. Drink plenty of water and choose foods that will give you the energy you need naturally so you avoid that mid–afternoon crash that too much sugar, coffee, and energy drinks can leave you with.

7. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help

If you are dealing with crushed confidence and low self–esteem from events and situations in your past they can be difficult to move past on your own. If you feel stuck and aren’t making the progress that you would like in this area, then don’t be afraid to reach out for help. EAP Assist counsellors will help you work through your past, determine your hang–ups, and help you take the steps that you need to move forward with confidence.

Life should be lived to the fullest. If a lack of confidence is holding you back, it’s time to start making a change today. Every little step forward is a step in the right direction.