The term ‘failure’ often reminds us of negative past experiences, like mistakes made at work or disappointing others. We’ve all made errors, mistakes or have failures in our past. However, ‘failure’ doesn’t have to continue to be such a negative and taboo term. Rather than viewing failure as a purely negative, scary and avoidable outcome, take a different perspective and challenge yourself to see that failure doesn’t have to mean defeat. It’s a chance to reset, learn and grow.
Strengthening your self-efficacy or self-belief, is a great way to tackle the fear of failure. Self-efficacy is defined as how much we believe in our ability to achieve a goal. Or put simply, believing in yourself. Self-efficacy involves a way of thinking that cultivates and strengthens confidence and motivates you to achieve the things that are important to you. Believing in yourself also involves reminding yourself that if things don’t turn out the way you were hoping that you can still cope and get through the hardship.
The stronger your self-efficacy, the less fearful of failure you might become. This is because when you believe in yourself, you will approach your goals rather than avoid them. Trying is key to self-confidence. Even if you don’t achieve the outcome you wanted on the first try, we can try again and now have more knowledge and experience than the first attempt. Here’s how to build your self-efficacy:
1. Setting realistic goals
Break down your goal into small, achievable steps rather than thinking about the final deadline or outcome you are aiming for which can lead to feelings of overwhelm or a desire to avoid. Try making S.M.A.R.T. goals, that is, setting a goal that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. Each time you chip away at your goal in a small way, recognize this achievement as an important stepping-stone to your larger goal and reward yourself.
2. Seeking experiences of mastery
Mastery experiences involve situations where you overcome a challenging or difficult talk. This gives you a sense of accomplishment, and a feeling of “I can do it!”. You can start with smaller tasks, like trying a new skill like taking on a smaller challenging task at work and sticking with it until you have learnt the new skill This helps to build proof for yourself that you can take on a challenge and succeed in it.
3. Learning from other’s experiences
We all learn by observing others. When a challenging task is ahead of you, it really helps to learn vicariously through others how they approach the task, what skills are involved and how they managed to achieve a goal. Seeing others complete tasks that we ourselves aren’t yet confident in provides modelling, which we can then mimic and mirror. Remind yourself that those who have succeeded once were new to the task as well and have practiced overtime to reach their goal.
4. Words of encouragement
Instead of focusing on the possible negative outcomes of a challenging task, try to take a more balanced outlook by providing yourself with words of encouragement. Compassionate self-talk, rather than criticism, is more helpful for goal achievement and confidence. Consider what you might say to a work colleague who was anxious about an upcoming task, such as, “You are doing your best, you’ve gotten through tough times before. I believe in you” This is the kind of encouragement that’s important to give to yourself. Also seek out encouragement from others – hearing that others believe in you and your abilities is very comforting, motivating and can make approaching a challenging task more achievable. Write down words of encouragement and read over these to help coach yourself to approach the challenge. In embracing failure, we foster growth and resilience.