Sticking to change goals can be hard. Whether you’re trying to change an attitude, behaviour or a habit it can sometimes feel like an uphill battle when it comes to maintaining motivation to reach your goals. It can be especially tough if you don’t really believe in the change you have decided to make or if you’re trying to make someone else’s change fit your own. For change to work it needs to be intentional and tailored to suit you. This means it embodies your strengths and your aspirations about who you want to be and where you want to go. Here are some questions to help you along the way:
1. What are my hopes and dreams? What kind of person would I like to be?
Our hopes and dreams are the version of ourselves we are aiming for that will pull us forward when our motivation starts to wane. Visualising and defining our ‘ideal self’ including our core values, hopes and dreams for the future in detail creates a reference point for our goals and actions. For example: A long-term goal for your ideal self could be: “I would like to be a person people can connect with because I value meaningful relationships”.
2. What do you like about yourself right now? What needs to change?
Before you can become who you want to be, you need to understand where you are now. Defining who you are right now creates a starting point for your goals. It’s about acknowledging your strengths and understanding what needs to change. You can do this by gathering feedback. Ask people you trust what they consider to be your strengths. Examine your current thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Which ones lead you towards and which ones lead you away from your ‘ideal self’. This will provide you with valuable information to guide your actions for change. For example: The strengths that support your goal could be you are friendly and approachable. Feedback from your friends might be that you never call them”.
3. What actions will lead you towards your ideal self?
The gap between your ‘ideal self and your ‘real self’ is like the engine room for change. Brainstorm what you need to do to move in the direction that leads you towards your ideal self. What do you need to learn? What resources do you need? Who can you engage? Are your goals and actions realistic? For example: One realistic action you can take to achieve your goal of being someone who connects with others is to call one friend once a week.
4. How can I motivate myself?
Now you’re heading in the right direction, it’s time to build self-belief through practice. This will help you sustain the change. Take small achievable steps first and gradually build on it. The joy you get from achieving small things will create energy for you to keep going. For example: The joy you feel from calling a friend each week might give you the energy to call two.
5. Who can support me when it gets tough?
It won’t be smooth sailing all the time. So, make a list of friends, family or colleagues who can encourage you when sticking to your goals gets hard. Share you goals and ask for their support. For example: Ask one friend to check-in with you and ask you how you are going with your goals. What adjustments need to be made to make it feel more achievable?