If you’re living with chronic illness, you may feel a loss of control along with worry about the future. You may even grieve your former self. One way to manage the big emotions that come with living with a chronic illness is to control what you can and accept the things you can’t.
Acceptance is the act of recognizing and embracing reality as it is, without judgment, resistance or attempts to change it. It involves acknowledging the present moment with openness and compassion which includes your thoughts, your emotions, your circumstances and your experiences Acceptance doesn’t mean approving of or giving into chronic illness, nor does it mean giving up on your goals. Acceptance is about finding peace with what is — both your limitations and your strengths. Here’s how to start accepting the things you can’t change when it comes to living with a chronic illness:
1. Acknowledge it all
Acceptance begins with recognizing and acknowledging the facts of your chronic illness. This includes physical limitations, medications and treatments. It also includes looking within. Identify and recognize the thoughts, feelings or experiences you may associate with the diagnosis. Even when difficult feelings come up, it’s important not to deny or minimize them but to allow them to be.
2. Develop nonjudgmental awareness
Acceptance requires observing the present moment without judgment or criticism. Allow yourself to experience thoughts, feelings and emotions without labelling them as good or bad. Stay curious about yourself and your chronic illness to avoid self-judgment on your journey to acceptance. Curiosity can lead to greater insight about yourself and how you relate to the world.
3. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a practice that involves intentionally bringing one’s focus to the present moment with curiosity and nonjudgmental awareness. It involves simply being aware of the moment in everyday life.
4. Let go of control
Acceptance involves letting go of control. When living with a chronic illness, you likely have physical and mental limitations that aren’t optional. Letting go of control is uncomfortable, but trying to push past your body’s limits is so much more uncomfortable — and can even be harmful. Letting go allows for more adaptability and flexibility as you accept and embrace the changes your chronic illness brings to your life.
5. Embrace your limitations
Recognizing that the ups and downs of your life with chronic illness are unavoidable and expected can help you to thrive while living with a chronic illness. Instead of getting frustrated with yourself, you can give yourself a break when you need extra rest, can’t complete a task, or need to ask for help.
6. Allow peace in
Acceptance of your life with chronic illness can lead to feelings of inner peace and contentment. Accepting the reality of what can’t be changed can help you cultivate resilience, mental calmness and a stronger sense of well-being.
7. Grant yourself compassion
Self-compassion plays a crucial role in accepting things you cannot fix by fostering a kind attitude toward yourself, especially when living with the challenges that come with living with chronic illness. Try the below tips to practice self-compassion when living with a chronic illness:
- Replace self-criticism and negative self-talk with a kind, empathetic inner voice.
- Focus on what’s happening now rather than in the past or future. Stay curious rather than judgmental.
- Remember that things may happen to you. They don’t define you, and they aren’t your fault.
- Recognize your common humanity with everyone else and that everyone has a hard time sometimes.
- Set realistic expectations and achievable goals for yourself.
- Celebrate wins, whether big or small.
- Invoke gratitude
Gratitude can be a deliberate and intentional practice for focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life. If you’re living with chronic illness, you may have experienced some dark times where it’s difficult to see the positive aspects of your life. This practice can help you highlight the things that make it all worth it, even during hard times.Takeaway
A chronic illness diagnosis is life-altering and can be challenging to accept. However, accepting your diagnosis can be the secret to living your best life each day. Accepting the things you can’t fix can help you go from surviving to thriving when living with a chronic illness.